May 2013
273 posts
yanderegal:
chickensandwich:
chickensandwich:
if this gets 500 notes i will kill my dad with a shovel
i’m not going to kill my dad. this website is the worst.
don’t back out now u pussy
snorlaxatives:
99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times
dayandnightitsjustlife:
the bottom of you hair was once at the top of your head
goddammitfenton:
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IT'S ALMOST JUNE I'M...
macarena-of-time:
“you can use your notes on the test”
sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles
bigstupidbaby:
ugh mums are so annoying ‘clean ur room take out the trash im worried about your mental health why is there a dead guy in the living room’ ha ha yeah ok whatever mum
“Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That’s me: I’m not...”
– John Green (via themilkywhiteway)
bootipop:
Cheer up, you’re never alone! There is probably at least 1 bug in your room
no matter how close i think i am with someone there’s always someone before me like i’m literally never someone’s first option
tupacabra:
“…and that’s my presentation.”
reallyreallyreallytrying:
yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger
a reminder that mental illnesses are actual life-altering disorders and not quirky or cute fashion accessories
scootyshabooty:
I just sit here sometimes like
wow
sexism is still a thing
the fact that sexism was ever a thing
it just
it’s beyond me
a woman pushes you out of her fucking BODY
and you grow up to be like ‘ahahaha women r stupid and weak’
i don’t get how that happens
lonelywhiteasian:
why reach for the stars when you can reach for my dick
iloveriandawson:
I don’t hate school because “i’m a teenager” no i hate it because who the fuck wants to wake up at 6 in the morning and go to a place where all you feel is stupid and judged. yeah no one ok
gcoky:
mulinlust:
gcoky:
fun prank: get a job working at a bakery and powder the doughnuts with cocaine instead of powdered sugar
fun prank more like how to ruin somebodies life
i said it was fun not ethical
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
“what doesn’t kill you
leaves scars
ruins your lungs
dries out all your tears...”
– c.c. (via alienism)
rabioheab:
imagine a new born baby named grandma
niallhortonhearsawho:
a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
jesuschristvevo:
i hate teachers who dont let u go to the bathroom because “too many people went already” like yea but none of those people were me and our bladders arent connected so just because they peed already doesnt mean i dont have to pee anymore
just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to justify your taste in music, movies, or books to anyone and if certain people make you feel bad or ashamed over stuff you like you should probably just tell them to fuck off
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croutoncat:
i wanna die but maybe something cool will happen so ill stay alive for now
theanti90smovement:
sorry i cant hang out with u today i have to catch up on my crying
shippery:
I DONT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO WEAR THEIR SHOES IN THEIR HOUSE
i hate when people are like “oh it’s no big deal i’m just doodling” and it’s like
thernardier:
“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes
